The other day, I was sitting at a stop light downtown, with one of my staff in the passenger seat. I was in my own little world and Stephen said "Look! A donkey!"
I looked to the right and saw that we were face-to-face with a baby moose (which Stephen had apparently never seen before). The moose took off down the street, weaving in and out of traffic, with (get this) 6 police cruisers and wildlife officers in hot pursuit. (If the cops put that much energy into catching gang members, we'd all be a lot safer.) Cowboy up!!! I heard on the news that night that they had finally cornered it and tranquilized it and returned it to wherever baby mooses come from. It's a good thing Mama wasn't there too. Those Mama's are mean critters. Have you ever seen a moose? (As I said, Stephen hadn't, so I'm going to assume there are others in the world who haven't had the pleasure as well). Well, they look like Creator took all the left-over parts from all of the animals He designed and smooshed them all together. They probably would have called it a smoosh, but that sounds like you've been drinking when you say it, so I think they came up with Moose.
So that's the first contact I had with animals in the past few days.
Now before I tell you this other story, I'm going to ask you to please keep in mind that I have told you I DO love animals, really I do. There was this skunk in the back alley behind my house. I never met this skunk, but I have it on good authority that he was there. I have no reason to doubt it. And there is this Chinese man who lives in the house behind me. Well, he came running out of his house screaming that the skunk sprayed his dog and he chased after the skunk with a golf club and well, suffice it to say, the skunk is not spraying anyone now. This lovely man was wearing a suit during this. Are you with me? Nice mild-mannered middle-aged Chinese man with a golf club chasing a skunk down the alley and the man wins. Nuff said. I know it's sad, but it's also really really funny, if you ask me.
I love animals. Really!
I should add, I live in a city of over a million people. Not some village in the backwoods where we all drive pickups and marry men named "Beau". although I would marry a man named Beau if he asked me.
You know, it's on my bucket list to see a live moose before I die, seriously. I collect moose stuff, it's kind of a sick obsession. They fascinate me for some reason. But I've seen enough pictures to realize the difference between a donkey and a moose...Love the ATC, it is an ATC, isn't it??? Very funny. I love animals too, but that story is pretty funny. One of those, I really shouldn't be laughing but it's pretty damn hilarious things....
ReplyDeleteWell then, girlfriend, I could move my worktable out of my studio and move a bed in and you could come visit me. I happen to know a little spot not too far from here where the critters hang out.
ReplyDeleteI keep hearing Boris and Natasha:
ReplyDelete"Keel moose and skunk...keel moose and skunk..."
A little Bullwinkle humor for you.
Your story made me laugh, even though I'm an animal-loving, card-carrying vegetarian who relocates spiders instead of stomping on them. I feel for the guy. Some good friends of mine have a big ol' Chesapeake dog that got skunked a few weeks ago. He came running in the back door (the dog, not the skunk) and their house is still just barely inhabitable.
OH! And cool art you've got there, too!
OMG, I can't stop laughing. I remember Bullwinkle!
ReplyDeleteOMG - I laugh out loud (truly) when I read some of your posts. My husband must think I'm going gaga. I love animals, I've seen a moose (they are the spare parts animal), and I feel badly for the poor little skunk. It was the dog's fault for scaring it and I hope he still had some juice in him for his killer (your description of the attacker is also pretty hilarious!). Thank you for a funny end to an unfunny day!!!
ReplyDeletehahaha, I'm sitting here laughing. I had to bring my DH in to hear your story! Weve seen Lots of moose living in Idaho. but....
ReplyDeleteA donkey? I guess your friend has never been to a zoo. LOL.
I feel bad for your neighbor and the skunk! Heres my little skunk story.
We were camping last year and while driving came across a family,mom and 4 baby skunks running along side the road. The babies are the cutest things!!! Mom took off running and left her poor babies skurring around bumping into each other. it was so funny. down the road a bit she finally turned around and headed back to find them.
Oh, cute babies. Now I feel guilty....
ReplyDeleteYou have me cracking up down here, south of the border. The picture in my head of your suit clad, golf club wielding neighbor has me snorting loud enough to rouse the dog. BWAHAHAHAHAHA Thank you. This is one of those that will bring a smile all week long. (Hope I can stifle the laugh.)
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah, your ATC is cool too.