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Monday, April 5, 2010

Memory Tripping

Do you remember giving birth? I do. Why do "they say you forget? Are "they" men? I remember my head spinning around a la the Exorcist and snarling at my husband that he could expect no more sex ever again. EVER. We're divorced now, by the way. I remember screaming "I've changed my mind, I'm going home." I remember the nurse saying "Oh, no missy, you cannot go home, just push!" Push? Are you nuts? I'm outta here.
And then here she was. My beautiful little girl came into this world with a black eye. A shiner. She punched herself in the eye on the way out. Maybe she was in a hurry. I know I certainly was. Good grief. Was this a sign of things to come?
And you know what else? I thought once the little creature was out of you, you instantly reverted to your pre-baby weight. Never mind I gained 40 pounds and she only weighed 7. Logic had no place here. As soon as I could walk, I climbed on the hospital scale and, what? What the heck? There was still a substantial tire around my belly (and my butt, but let's not go there.) A tire suitable for one of the massive earth movers in the diamond mines up north.
She was sweet though. One of my fondest memories is that of her coming into the living room (at an hour way, way, way too late for any little girl to still be walking around) and saying "One more little cuddle, Mommy?". Whenever we went to buy a new dress (and dresses WERE the only thing she would wear from quite some time) she had to check the "twirl" factor. If it didn't twirl big, it was not going home with us.
I'm glad she came home with us.


  1. A wonderful memory indeed. Yup! It hurt like a b!tch. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. (Getting the epidural a lot sooner next time around though.) Love the layout too.

  2. LOL! I love the way you wrote this! No, I don't remember giving birth. Mainly because I've never done it. And...I've heard enough about it to know that it isn't for me! Although, I'm glad you ended up with a good one! ;-) Your layout is wonderful!

  3. Glad it's your memory, and not mine! rofl. Kidding. Well, not really. I never gave birth and I have no intention of doing so, especially at my age. Nice layout, btw!


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