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Thursday, April 8, 2010

Thundersnow?




THUNDERSNOW???????????ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHAT THE SAM HELL IS THUNDERSNOW?????????
Good grief. Look at these pictures. We're having thundersnow, apparently. It's snow with thunder. Is that a joke? They did not teach us about thundersnow in school science class. ERGO, is does NOT EXIST. Will someone please kill me now? These pictures are taken from my back door and all of these were taken within a one-hour period. In a one-hour period, I might add, which included a power failure three, count them THREE times. OF COURSE, I had been working on a digital piece last night and didn't save it. Of course it's gone. It left this world as I had my hand on the crop tool. Of course.
Do I sound miffed? Well, that's because I AM!! They say "don't like the weather? Wait five minutes-it'll change." Which is fine, when it changes from winter to summer. But this afternoon, I was walking around with no coat on, quite happy, thank you very much and as I was filling my truck up with gas two hours later, the garbage can at the gas station almost decked me as it went flying by. I'm debating calling work and having my overnight staff call and wake me up in the morning. I have to drive out of town, and oh my, I do not, do not, do not, want to sleep in. And with the way things are going, the alarm probably won't go off. It needs power for that, after all. The last time I made this drive I'm doing tomorrow, it was storming so bad, I finally pulled over and went to sleep. Good grief. Oh yeah, I already said that.
That was in winter. IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE WINTER NOW, IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE SPRING!! WHO HAS THUNDERSNOW IN SPRING? (Who has thundersnow at all? I think it's made up) And then a weather forecast that includes sunny days, rain showers and snow flurries. All in the next three days.
And if that isn't bad enough, I just heard on TV that Kraft is all pleased with themselves because their salad dressings now are made from natural ingredients. Huh? Were they made from un-natural ingredients up until now? I've done some somewhat un-natural things in my younger life and I'm not really so comfortable with the concept of "unnatural" expecially as it relates to food. I don't eat in the prisons,for example. You wanna see "unnatural....come with me sometime.
I'm going to bed early. Now, in fact. After I arrange for a wake-up call. I can't deal with all this. Good grief.
I can just hear you saying, "oh now honey, you're just over-tired. Things will look better in the morning." No they won't. You can't convince me of that. No way. They won't. This is Canada. Stupid, cold thundersnowing Canada. Do the weather forecasters sit around the studio and make these words up just to screw with people's heads?
And don't you dare tell me to go to my room and take a time out. I won't, I won't, I wont. (stamping her feet)
No artwork tonight, but I'm guessing you've probably figured that out on your own. Have a lovely day tomorrow. And think of me. Probably sitting at the side of the highway, listening to the ice slam the heck out of my truck to the point that I can't get the door open and will have to crawl across and go out the passenger door which will be on the side of the vehicle where I will immediately slip and then slide down the ditch that is directly below my truck. On my ass. And then I will have to chip the ice off my door to be able to get back in, doing all of this in a freaking whiteout with lumps. Lumps that hurt. (Can you hear the cello music in the background? That's it. I'm moving. I don't care where. Just not here. I'm packing my papers and stickles now. And my parka, for the trip to the airport. Damn puffy parka, you can't even put your hands down by your sides, and you look like the MIchelin man. on steroids. I'll never get a date looking like this. (Not that I would want to go out with anyone who finds a bitchy woman who looks like a walking sleeping bag, attractive. I'd rather be alone...oooor...No! I'd rather be alone. I'm sure of it. Good night.

4 comments:

  1. Honey, I hate myself for laughing at your pain. Truly, I do. Hate myself.

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!


    *gasp*


    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

    But in my defense, you make it so freaking funny, what do you expect?! I'm only human, you know.

    Okay, now, in all seriousness, be careful out there tomorrow. No sliding down hills or face-planting into snow banks.

    Love and hugs,
    -L3

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  2. Hey Electra, well dont come to Australia...

    I live in Melbourne and we had the worst ever hailstorm the other weekend. One minute it was sunny, then in a minute it went a bit grey, then all of a sudden it was black and the noise was incredible and in an instant the backyard was full of enormous hailstones (think golf balls for starters, progressing very rapidly to tennis balls). We ventured onto the front porch to take pictures but were driven back by the battering of ice!

    Small disasters compared to yours (and I've never heard of thunder-snow either) but when the ice builds up so fast it nearly comes inside under the doors (up the steps etc etc), and then you see the car all pocked with dents like a cheese grater....

    Anyway we're okay and I hope your day improves. Take care out there!!

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  3. Well, yes, I've heard of thundersnow, we've had it here a couple of times, in the past, thank God. I'm with Linda, LMAO, even though I'm not supposed to. But you can't see me thru the computer, so there. Try to have a good day!

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  4. You are soooo blumming funny...roflmao at you.

    when I was in Canada staying with a friens in July I might add we were wearing shorts and teshirts and out of nowhere came hailstones the size of golfballs they were running down the street and stopping trafic...ten minutes late gone apart from the pile up at the bottom of the road.

    Worth seeing.

    catch you later.

    chriss x

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