things I wonder about as I sit in a hotel room watching TV:
1. Do husbands REALLY not mind when the wife bonks them in the head if they don't like the juice they are served?
2. If Chocolate Easter Eggs were REALLY dropped from a plane, wouldn't we all get bruises? Besides, can rabbits fly planes? Legally?
3. Do reality stars behave as badly in privately as they do when the cameras are rolling?
4. When did men start wearing eye makeup and why didn't I notice? Why are they prettier than me when I spend 1/2 hour each morning trying to look good?
5. When you bite into those singing dancing breakfast cereals, do they scream? And if they DO scream, do you feel badly for them, or do you secretly laugh an evil laugh and say 'die you little freakazoid" in your mind?
6. Does Judge Judy treat her family the way she treats the people in her court room? Do they want to jail her for contempt of court just like I do? And can they?
7. When was the last time YOU danced with your mop? And why would you do that? Did you kiss?
8. Does that big fat paper-towel guy REALLY think his outfit is slimming? Does he have a magic mirror? Where can I get one?
9. Are those fuzzy little toilet-scrubber people going to fly up my butt one day and scare the S%*@ out of me? If so, they'll be sorry.
10. If I have to spend any more time in a hotel room watching TV, will my brain permanently turn to mush? Will anyone who works with me notice? What, you've noticed? Oh crap.